I think for a long time, I have just been avoiding the fact that I am leaving Kenya. I mean, to a certain extent, I knew I was leaving because I had nearly everything packed up days before our departure. But when I was saying my goodbyes, it just felt like my typical goodbyes for the day…I would see them tomorrow. But this time, I wouldn’t. I don’t think this will fully hit me until I spend my first few days back in the US. I never really allowed time for it to hit me in Kenya. I was too busy trying to get projects finished, even up to the last minute—literally. (I looked like a fool running around the HEART compound from building to building, person to person. But honestly, as much as it was stressful, it was fun. And I was laughing the whole time.)
I am holding on to the fact that I will be applying for a part-time staff position at HEART and plan on being back next year. I already talked to Vickie about it, and everyone tells me I am welcome back. So…with the Lord’s provision, I will be back at HEART soon.
But for now, I know God has a reason for bringing me back to the States. I could have stayed if I wanted to…which I did…but I know God has a better plan for me than I can imagine. So I am just following His lead as I journey back and forth between my homes in California and in Kenya…
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
Last Days in Kibera and with WEEP Women and Children
Thursday was my last trip into Kibera…for now. While Katie and Margaret needed to meet with a couple of the women, I was just there since it was my last opportunity to spend time with the women. I brought my guitar because I had promised to teach a couple of the women some tunes, so while the other interns met, I serenaded the other women. A couple of them were hanging out just outside of the WEEP center, taking a break from studying and practicing how to sew in a straight line. They were painting each others fingernails and toenails with a silver glitter nailpolish, which I can only assume was donated by one of the HEART teams that came to visit this summer. Street kids were playing a few feet away. They saw me pull out my guitar and their eyes lit up in interest. One girl in particular was captivated as soon as I started to strum. She admired from afar for a little while, but she slowly made her way up to me…Soon right by my side…staring at the guitar. I had fun looking deep into her eyes, pondering her story, as she listened to me play.
Because I kept asking for Everlyne, one of the WEEP women that was going to make me a sweater, one of the women finally called me into the preschool where Everlyne was eating. As I peeked in the door, I did a double take on Everlyne because she was hiding in the corner.
We exchanged smiles and laughed and hugged. It was so good to see her. She is a spectacular woman. We proceeded to talk about the sweater she was going to make me, and before I knew it, we were sitting in chairs…I was strumming the guitar…and we were talking about a million different topics. We talked about how faithful God is, our families, how she sees me as a daughter… It was wonderful. We must have spent a couple of hours talking. It was so easy and delightful to spend my afternoon with her. We shared in laughs as much as we did in stories, and she encouraged me greatly. She even talked about David from the Bible, and I told her how he is my favorite character from the Bible. It was so nice that our conversation was not limited because of language, cultural differences, or age difference.
The entire time that I was chatting with Everlyne, the little girl that was captivated by the guitar was peeking her head in the door. She heard my music and slowly scooted her way into the room, back glued to the wall the entire time. I kept smiling at her over and over. She was adorable. She finally shyly came up to me and looked into my eyes, then back at the guitar, then back into my eyes. I would ask her “Sasa?” and “Habari?” (What’s up?) but without response. Then she got comfortable enough to rest her hands on my knee, so I gently took her hand and ran it against the strings of the guitar to strum it.That was enough—she loved it! She strummed and strummed and strummed. I rubbed her soft cheeks and covered her head with my hand. She smiled at me, and when I asked her “Sasa?” she adorably said “Poa.” (Nothing). It wasn’t long before we would play in and out of my coversation with Everlyne. She would come running up to me with a big smile on her face. As I got ready to leave, she motioned for me to pick her up…which, of course, I did. She was so light and felt so natural in my arms. Then I tossed her up in the air and looked into her eyes, pushing her nose like a little button. When I put her down to leave, she grabbed my hand and wouldn’t let go. It was hard to leave. Another piece of my heart was left in Kibera. I am starting to think I am not going to have a heart left!
Thankfully, I got to see many of the WEEP women and their children at the Kids Fun Day we held for the WEEP women and their children at the Giraffe Center. Katie, Margaret, and I ran the show of about 100 women and children, as we organized them all to see the giraffes and eat lunch. By the grace of God, everything panned out smoothly, and everyone had a great time. We even finished early!
This Kids Fun Day was supported by an 11 year old girl, who has decided for the past couple of years that instead of receiving gifts for her birthday, she would take money people gave to her to help children in Africa. Isn’t that precious? And that’s exactly what she did! These kids would have never had the opportunity to spend their Saturday at the Giraffe Center with a PB&J lunch. It was a special treat for them…especially considering that some of them may have otherwise not even set foot out of the slums where they live. How awesome that an 11 year old could give so radically! Asante sana, Alex.
Because I kept asking for Everlyne, one of the WEEP women that was going to make me a sweater, one of the women finally called me into the preschool where Everlyne was eating. As I peeked in the door, I did a double take on Everlyne because she was hiding in the corner.
We exchanged smiles and laughed and hugged. It was so good to see her. She is a spectacular woman. We proceeded to talk about the sweater she was going to make me, and before I knew it, we were sitting in chairs…I was strumming the guitar…and we were talking about a million different topics. We talked about how faithful God is, our families, how she sees me as a daughter… It was wonderful. We must have spent a couple of hours talking. It was so easy and delightful to spend my afternoon with her. We shared in laughs as much as we did in stories, and she encouraged me greatly. She even talked about David from the Bible, and I told her how he is my favorite character from the Bible. It was so nice that our conversation was not limited because of language, cultural differences, or age difference.
The entire time that I was chatting with Everlyne, the little girl that was captivated by the guitar was peeking her head in the door. She heard my music and slowly scooted her way into the room, back glued to the wall the entire time. I kept smiling at her over and over. She was adorable. She finally shyly came up to me and looked into my eyes, then back at the guitar, then back into my eyes. I would ask her “Sasa?” and “Habari?” (What’s up?) but without response. Then she got comfortable enough to rest her hands on my knee, so I gently took her hand and ran it against the strings of the guitar to strum it.That was enough—she loved it! She strummed and strummed and strummed. I rubbed her soft cheeks and covered her head with my hand. She smiled at me, and when I asked her “Sasa?” she adorably said “Poa.” (Nothing). It wasn’t long before we would play in and out of my coversation with Everlyne. She would come running up to me with a big smile on her face. As I got ready to leave, she motioned for me to pick her up…which, of course, I did. She was so light and felt so natural in my arms. Then I tossed her up in the air and looked into her eyes, pushing her nose like a little button. When I put her down to leave, she grabbed my hand and wouldn’t let go. It was hard to leave. Another piece of my heart was left in Kibera. I am starting to think I am not going to have a heart left!
Thankfully, I got to see many of the WEEP women and their children at the Kids Fun Day we held for the WEEP women and their children at the Giraffe Center. Katie, Margaret, and I ran the show of about 100 women and children, as we organized them all to see the giraffes and eat lunch. By the grace of God, everything panned out smoothly, and everyone had a great time. We even finished early!
This Kids Fun Day was supported by an 11 year old girl, who has decided for the past couple of years that instead of receiving gifts for her birthday, she would take money people gave to her to help children in Africa. Isn’t that precious? And that’s exactly what she did! These kids would have never had the opportunity to spend their Saturday at the Giraffe Center with a PB&J lunch. It was a special treat for them…especially considering that some of them may have otherwise not even set foot out of the slums where they live. How awesome that an 11 year old could give so radically! Asante sana, Alex.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
"WEEP No More" - WEEP Graduation 2010
This is actually the article I wrote for the WEEP newsletter on the graduation ceremony we held here at the HEART compound last Saturday. I thought this would be the perfect way to blog about the graduation! :)
After years of anticipation, the day finally came—12 more WEEP women graduated, making a total of 17. Families, friends, HEART staff, and HEART supporters from all over Kenya gathered at the HEART compound on Saturday, August 21st to celebrate these women as they move forward, out of the WEEP centers, and begin their own businesses. Preparation began the day before with set up of large tents and continued early the next morning as the HEART staff and some of the Rotaracters came together with “all hands on deck” to ensure the ceremony panned out smoothly. The lawn of the HEART compound was lined with chairs and tables, which were subtly decorated with flowers and photos of various HEART projects. Guests began arriving as early as 9am and continued to arrive throughout the celebration. The sun was out, the kids were playing games on the back lawn, and people were piling their plates with delicious food. Everything was running flawlessly—even early!
To begin the graduation, the Kibera WEEP Women gathered in front of the stage to sing some songs. Then, as they began singing—drip, drop—droplets of rain began to fall from the sky. It did not take long before everything began to get soaked. Quickly, everyone turned their chairs around to face the opposite direction, and everything not under the tents was swiftly put under the tents. With positive attitudes—and even praises—the graduation proceeded. With a smile, Vickie Winkler, Executive Director of HEART, reminded everyone, “Rain is always a blessing here in Kenya, isn’t it?”
After a few members of the HEART staff spoke on Kids for School, Freedom for Girls, and WEEP, the graduating women entered from inside. Their graduation song was the beautiful sound of their voices praising God. They each received their diplomas with smiles and hugs from Lynn Adrian from USAID, Helen Dalton from AED/CAP Kenya, and Vickie Winkler from HEART.
After the graduation came to a close with prayer, people swarmed the newly graduated WEEP women to congratulate them. Random outbursts of singing, dancing, and laughing filled the time while everyone celebrated together. In the words of Isaac Mzee, who served as MC at the graduation, “these women we call WEEP ladies will now WEEP no more.”
After years of anticipation, the day finally came—12 more WEEP women graduated, making a total of 17. Families, friends, HEART staff, and HEART supporters from all over Kenya gathered at the HEART compound on Saturday, August 21st to celebrate these women as they move forward, out of the WEEP centers, and begin their own businesses. Preparation began the day before with set up of large tents and continued early the next morning as the HEART staff and some of the Rotaracters came together with “all hands on deck” to ensure the ceremony panned out smoothly. The lawn of the HEART compound was lined with chairs and tables, which were subtly decorated with flowers and photos of various HEART projects. Guests began arriving as early as 9am and continued to arrive throughout the celebration. The sun was out, the kids were playing games on the back lawn, and people were piling their plates with delicious food. Everything was running flawlessly—even early!
To begin the graduation, the Kibera WEEP Women gathered in front of the stage to sing some songs. Then, as they began singing—drip, drop—droplets of rain began to fall from the sky. It did not take long before everything began to get soaked. Quickly, everyone turned their chairs around to face the opposite direction, and everything not under the tents was swiftly put under the tents. With positive attitudes—and even praises—the graduation proceeded. With a smile, Vickie Winkler, Executive Director of HEART, reminded everyone, “Rain is always a blessing here in Kenya, isn’t it?”
After a few members of the HEART staff spoke on Kids for School, Freedom for Girls, and WEEP, the graduating women entered from inside. Their graduation song was the beautiful sound of their voices praising God. They each received their diplomas with smiles and hugs from Lynn Adrian from USAID, Helen Dalton from AED/CAP Kenya, and Vickie Winkler from HEART.
After the graduation came to a close with prayer, people swarmed the newly graduated WEEP women to congratulate them. Random outbursts of singing, dancing, and laughing filled the time while everyone celebrated together. In the words of Isaac Mzee, who served as MC at the graduation, “these women we call WEEP ladies will now WEEP no more.”
Monday, August 23, 2010
Safari Away
After two months in Kenya, I have finally had my first opportunity for a real safari. In a certain sense, I almost felt like I had experienced safari already in bits and pieces. I mean…where else do you get stuck at a complete stop on the highway because zebras are crossing? Where else do you see a giraffe eating leaves from a tall tree on the side of the road? Where else do you drive through uneven dirt and tall grasses to get to someone’s mud hut home? (I mean…seriously…it was like the Indiana Jones ride in real life!)
None the less, my safari experience thus far has been nothing short of wonderful. After about 5 hours of driving we arrived yesterday afternoon in time for an early evening drive. With just me, Katie, Margaret, and William, we had a blast singing praise songs and driving through God’s spectacular creation. We saw giraffes (I asked them to say hello to Lenard [the giraffe I kissed] for me), zebras, and tons of other exciting animals. It was my absolute favorite time of day, when the sun is just about to go down and all the colors of all of the grasses, shrubs, and animals are warmer. There is something gentle and romantic and holy about that time of day. I loved talking to God as the wind from the dusty safari air was blowing in my face and through my hair. It was so peaceful, yet so adventurous.
We went to visit some springs where the hippos usually are, but once we arrived, we were informed that all of the hippos have died due to the serious drought in Kenya. I thought the drought was last year, but apparently this year has not been good for the animals either. I couldn’t help but wonder how many people around this area have died from the drought due to lack of food and water as well…
During the closing of our drive, we drove to the top of the hill where we could look out across the entire valley. It was sunset, and you could see for miles and miles in all directions. This seems silly…but as I looked at the terrain and at the sunset…I remembered….I AM IN AFRICA!!!!! Bahhh, this is so awesome! GOD is SO awesome! Hahah. My heart melted as I watched the sun go down and the valley turn to night.
Katie, Margaret, and I also woke up early this morning to leave for another drive at 630am. That’s right. 630am. Though it was difficult to drag myself out of bed, I was quickly reminded of how much I love the mornings when we drove out the gate just in time for the sunrise. It was hardly half a kilometer before we had to stop to take pictures of the red sun rising over the valley. It was stunning. On our drive, we saw giraffes, ostriches, all kinds of antelope, and a herd of nearly 100 elephants!! No joke. We saw them from afar at first but as we started to return for breakfast, they were much closer. At one point, we were no farther than several meters from a group of them. We were careful though because herds that huge can be very dangerous, especially since there were lots of baby elephants with them. It was marvelous! So we stayed for long enough to get some good pictures, then we gave them their space so they didn’t feel threatened.
One of the coolest aspects of this safari location is the location of the hotel. It is right by a few watering holes where the animals will come to drink. So for example, yesterday I had lunch with some warthogs and zebras, and last night I had dinner with a cheetah, a giraffe, and a herd of elephants (at different times, of course). Even now, I am sitting with my feet up on the back porch, looking out over the African valley with the majestic mountains far off and zebras, ostriches, antelope, warthogs, all kinds of birds, and other animals coming to drink and bathe in the waterhole. It’s pretty surreal.
We went on another drive this evening, and after quite some time of not seeing any new animals, we were feeling pretty bummed. The whole drive I had been praying “God, we would love to see a cool animal—maybe a lion or a rhino or something! We want to delight in your creation.” When we were headed back for the night, I started to wonder “God, I understand that you have said ‘No,’ but I just don’t understand why. Why would you say no to a request like that? I know you delight in pouring your love out on your children. Why would you choose to keep us from delighting in Your creation?” Not long after, I was looking out hopefully for a lion lounging in the golden grasses, and on the side of the road, I saw a leopard. We made eye contact, and I had to do a double take…did I really just see a leopard?!?!?! It was hardly a meter away from me. “Stop the car!!!” I yelled. “I saw a cheetah!!!!!!” (Silly, Katelyn, didn’t know the difference between a cheetah and a leopard.) So we quickly threw the car into reverse and turned off the engine and sat with the leopard. It was sooo thrilling! And God allowed me the pleasure of spotting it! After some other cars started to drive up, seeing that we were stopped, the leopard stood up and trotted away. Then, satisfied, we proceeded to drive into the breathtaking pink and blue sunset. It was perfect. Seriously.
Isn’t God WONDERful??
None the less, my safari experience thus far has been nothing short of wonderful. After about 5 hours of driving we arrived yesterday afternoon in time for an early evening drive. With just me, Katie, Margaret, and William, we had a blast singing praise songs and driving through God’s spectacular creation. We saw giraffes (I asked them to say hello to Lenard [the giraffe I kissed] for me), zebras, and tons of other exciting animals. It was my absolute favorite time of day, when the sun is just about to go down and all the colors of all of the grasses, shrubs, and animals are warmer. There is something gentle and romantic and holy about that time of day. I loved talking to God as the wind from the dusty safari air was blowing in my face and through my hair. It was so peaceful, yet so adventurous.
We went to visit some springs where the hippos usually are, but once we arrived, we were informed that all of the hippos have died due to the serious drought in Kenya. I thought the drought was last year, but apparently this year has not been good for the animals either. I couldn’t help but wonder how many people around this area have died from the drought due to lack of food and water as well…
During the closing of our drive, we drove to the top of the hill where we could look out across the entire valley. It was sunset, and you could see for miles and miles in all directions. This seems silly…but as I looked at the terrain and at the sunset…I remembered….I AM IN AFRICA!!!!! Bahhh, this is so awesome! GOD is SO awesome! Hahah. My heart melted as I watched the sun go down and the valley turn to night.
Katie, Margaret, and I also woke up early this morning to leave for another drive at 630am. That’s right. 630am. Though it was difficult to drag myself out of bed, I was quickly reminded of how much I love the mornings when we drove out the gate just in time for the sunrise. It was hardly half a kilometer before we had to stop to take pictures of the red sun rising over the valley. It was stunning. On our drive, we saw giraffes, ostriches, all kinds of antelope, and a herd of nearly 100 elephants!! No joke. We saw them from afar at first but as we started to return for breakfast, they were much closer. At one point, we were no farther than several meters from a group of them. We were careful though because herds that huge can be very dangerous, especially since there were lots of baby elephants with them. It was marvelous! So we stayed for long enough to get some good pictures, then we gave them their space so they didn’t feel threatened.
One of the coolest aspects of this safari location is the location of the hotel. It is right by a few watering holes where the animals will come to drink. So for example, yesterday I had lunch with some warthogs and zebras, and last night I had dinner with a cheetah, a giraffe, and a herd of elephants (at different times, of course). Even now, I am sitting with my feet up on the back porch, looking out over the African valley with the majestic mountains far off and zebras, ostriches, antelope, warthogs, all kinds of birds, and other animals coming to drink and bathe in the waterhole. It’s pretty surreal.
We went on another drive this evening, and after quite some time of not seeing any new animals, we were feeling pretty bummed. The whole drive I had been praying “God, we would love to see a cool animal—maybe a lion or a rhino or something! We want to delight in your creation.” When we were headed back for the night, I started to wonder “God, I understand that you have said ‘No,’ but I just don’t understand why. Why would you say no to a request like that? I know you delight in pouring your love out on your children. Why would you choose to keep us from delighting in Your creation?” Not long after, I was looking out hopefully for a lion lounging in the golden grasses, and on the side of the road, I saw a leopard. We made eye contact, and I had to do a double take…did I really just see a leopard?!?!?! It was hardly a meter away from me. “Stop the car!!!” I yelled. “I saw a cheetah!!!!!!” (Silly, Katelyn, didn’t know the difference between a cheetah and a leopard.) So we quickly threw the car into reverse and turned off the engine and sat with the leopard. It was sooo thrilling! And God allowed me the pleasure of spotting it! After some other cars started to drive up, seeing that we were stopped, the leopard stood up and trotted away. Then, satisfied, we proceeded to drive into the breathtaking pink and blue sunset. It was perfect. Seriously.
Isn’t God WONDERful??
HEART Written on my Heart
After a week of busy office days of trying to design and author a couple of new newsletters for HEART’s WEEP and Freedom for Girls projects, creating personalized HEART stationary cards, getting the first HEART Kids for School Newsletter printed, preparing for the WEEP graduation…I am wiped. But I love my work here. There is always so much to do, so much to get done, and so many ways to help. Even I, a “just-out-of-high-school-and-fresh-college-blood-student” am able to contribute to the needs of HEART. It’s amazing how the fact that I am here and able to contribute so much is a testimony to the power of God. I couldn’t be doing this without Him.
Like I said it’s been a lot of busy days, where I end up working on projects from 9am to 9pm. I never thought I would be a work-aholic since I always give my dad a hard time about working so much, but I have failed to realize that I am half his blood! (Love you, dad. Looking forward to seeing you.) Hahah, anyway…my work may be way different than his, but now I understand the desperate desire to get projects that mean the world to you finished.
Because it has been such a busy office week, I have spent a significant amount of time around the compound and not a lot of time outside. For that reason precisely, Lower Taita is still very deeply engraved onto my heart. I think about it daily and am always telling whoever is around me “If I could choose only once place to return here in Kenya…it would be Lower Taita.” There was something special about that place, and honestly, I cannot wait to return. I couldn’t even tell you why… It just felt like family, dancing with those kids under the stars. It felt like home, walking through the village. It felt natural to wake up to clanging pots and pans, singing from the nearby church, and voices calling out in Swahili. I pray and will continue to be praying that when I return to HEART (I am trusting God will bring me back to HEART if it is truly His will), I will be blessed with the opportunity to stay with Pastor Lawrence and his family again.
Like I said it’s been a lot of busy days, where I end up working on projects from 9am to 9pm. I never thought I would be a work-aholic since I always give my dad a hard time about working so much, but I have failed to realize that I am half his blood! (Love you, dad. Looking forward to seeing you.) Hahah, anyway…my work may be way different than his, but now I understand the desperate desire to get projects that mean the world to you finished.
Because it has been such a busy office week, I have spent a significant amount of time around the compound and not a lot of time outside. For that reason precisely, Lower Taita is still very deeply engraved onto my heart. I think about it daily and am always telling whoever is around me “If I could choose only once place to return here in Kenya…it would be Lower Taita.” There was something special about that place, and honestly, I cannot wait to return. I couldn’t even tell you why… It just felt like family, dancing with those kids under the stars. It felt like home, walking through the village. It felt natural to wake up to clanging pots and pans, singing from the nearby church, and voices calling out in Swahili. I pray and will continue to be praying that when I return to HEART (I am trusting God will bring me back to HEART if it is truly His will), I will be blessed with the opportunity to stay with Pastor Lawrence and his family again.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Psalm 37:4 [Lower Taita]
Dear Family and Friends,
Please know that this final trip into rural Kenya this summer was the best one yet. It is something I struggle to explain. God has been marvelously molding my heart and continually softening it to the people of Kenya. The following is my prayer to God--the only one who understands what's going on in my heart. I am sorry I cannot capture it any other way.
God, you have shown me something spectacular...something inexplicable...something utterly overwhelming...something wonderful. I sob as I reflect upon my time in rural Kenya. Why? Because just when I thought You couldn't make anything better...you did. I have delighted in You, and You have given me the desires of my heart. You have pounded my heart deep into the dirt of Africa since birth...I just didn't realize it until less than a year ago. And when my heart was awakened to devote myself to glorifying You by serving in health education in rural Africa...a new place I had never been, not to mention, on the other side of the world...I knew it could have only been from You. My heart yearned for this place I never knew, I had never been. I had a love for these people whose faces were unknown and names unheard. And now... here I am... taking a stroll in the rural village of Taita with my Kenyan brother Isaac... during my favorite time of day... just as the sun starts to set... The kids are eagerly running to greet me... I shake hands and exchange "Habari zenu?"s with some of the locals... I look up and see the African sunset... I look to my right and see the mud hut homes... I look down and see my worn TOMS walking in the red dirt of the hills of Taita... I look behind me and see the majestic mountains... I look to my left at Isaac as he explains the way of life of rural Kenya... I am the happiest I have ever been... I feel right at home. God, you gave me this dream. And here I am. I have followed your calling, and I have seen the ways you have prepared me from the very day of my birth. But it is coming to a close and going back is going to be hard--in some ways, it seems impossible. I have been encouraged to be extra gracious with people when I go back, but I need You more than ever to do that. You have taken me by the hand and led me to Kenya. Will you take me by the hand as I leave my home here? Baba, I cannot imagine not coming back to Kenya. I am already planning on coming back. I know if You want me here, You will provide a way. Just like You did for me this summer. Lord, You are so faithful.
You have waterfalled me with blessings. Even the smallest things... even the most intimate things about me, Lord... You know. You knew I wanted to learn to dance the African way. As I headed to my room for the night after the perfect stroll and delicious Kenyan dinner, You had all of the kids of the family gather together to sing and dance to Your name. God, because of who You are, we celebrated under the black sky blanketed with stars. We sang. We danced. Old water buckets and doors for drums...voices lifted high... God, together we sang to you...danced in your name...in Your glorious creation... with Your beautiful people. We laughed. We encouraged one another. It could have just been a night where we went to sleep, but you set that time in motion... and it was the best evening of my life. I thought I already had a wonderful day after waking up to the glorious sound of roosters crowing, pots clanging in preparation for breakfast, people singing praise songs in the nearby church, goats crying, chicks peeping, and voices calling out in Swahili and spending my day at a nearby school teaching young kids on HIV and hand washing. But, God, You knew... my day was just beginning. You had the best evening of my life planned out.
You gave me a family--Pastor Lawrence, Mama Lawrence, the boys, the girls, little Chris. You gave me a home--a spectacular home with a breath-taking view in a safe village with the only concern of elephants crushing the crops at night. You gave me discomfort mixed with comfort, an astounding joy, and a peace of heart. You took me to the village where You revealed Your plans of HEART to Vickie 10 years ago and won my heart over 10 years later. You gave me the desires of my heart. And I am inexplicably grateful.
Please know that this final trip into rural Kenya this summer was the best one yet. It is something I struggle to explain. God has been marvelously molding my heart and continually softening it to the people of Kenya. The following is my prayer to God--the only one who understands what's going on in my heart. I am sorry I cannot capture it any other way.
God, you have shown me something spectacular...something inexplicable...something utterly overwhelming...something wonderful. I sob as I reflect upon my time in rural Kenya. Why? Because just when I thought You couldn't make anything better...you did. I have delighted in You, and You have given me the desires of my heart. You have pounded my heart deep into the dirt of Africa since birth...I just didn't realize it until less than a year ago. And when my heart was awakened to devote myself to glorifying You by serving in health education in rural Africa...a new place I had never been, not to mention, on the other side of the world...I knew it could have only been from You. My heart yearned for this place I never knew, I had never been. I had a love for these people whose faces were unknown and names unheard. And now... here I am... taking a stroll in the rural village of Taita with my Kenyan brother Isaac... during my favorite time of day... just as the sun starts to set... The kids are eagerly running to greet me... I shake hands and exchange "Habari zenu?"s with some of the locals... I look up and see the African sunset... I look to my right and see the mud hut homes... I look down and see my worn TOMS walking in the red dirt of the hills of Taita... I look behind me and see the majestic mountains... I look to my left at Isaac as he explains the way of life of rural Kenya... I am the happiest I have ever been... I feel right at home. God, you gave me this dream. And here I am. I have followed your calling, and I have seen the ways you have prepared me from the very day of my birth. But it is coming to a close and going back is going to be hard--in some ways, it seems impossible. I have been encouraged to be extra gracious with people when I go back, but I need You more than ever to do that. You have taken me by the hand and led me to Kenya. Will you take me by the hand as I leave my home here? Baba, I cannot imagine not coming back to Kenya. I am already planning on coming back. I know if You want me here, You will provide a way. Just like You did for me this summer. Lord, You are so faithful.
You have waterfalled me with blessings. Even the smallest things... even the most intimate things about me, Lord... You know. You knew I wanted to learn to dance the African way. As I headed to my room for the night after the perfect stroll and delicious Kenyan dinner, You had all of the kids of the family gather together to sing and dance to Your name. God, because of who You are, we celebrated under the black sky blanketed with stars. We sang. We danced. Old water buckets and doors for drums...voices lifted high... God, together we sang to you...danced in your name...in Your glorious creation... with Your beautiful people. We laughed. We encouraged one another. It could have just been a night where we went to sleep, but you set that time in motion... and it was the best evening of my life. I thought I already had a wonderful day after waking up to the glorious sound of roosters crowing, pots clanging in preparation for breakfast, people singing praise songs in the nearby church, goats crying, chicks peeping, and voices calling out in Swahili and spending my day at a nearby school teaching young kids on HIV and hand washing. But, God, You knew... my day was just beginning. You had the best evening of my life planned out.
You gave me a family--Pastor Lawrence, Mama Lawrence, the boys, the girls, little Chris. You gave me a home--a spectacular home with a breath-taking view in a safe village with the only concern of elephants crushing the crops at night. You gave me discomfort mixed with comfort, an astounding joy, and a peace of heart. You took me to the village where You revealed Your plans of HEART to Vickie 10 years ago and won my heart over 10 years later. You gave me the desires of my heart. And I am inexplicably grateful.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Whirlwind Week
Welp…it has been a whirlwind of a week. God has blessed me incredibly with adventures from bargaining at the Maasai Market to visiting the women at a couple of WEEP (Women Equality Empowerment Project) Centers to kissing a giraffe. Honestly, I am not sure how I am going to sufficiently put into words the past week, but I will do my best.
Several of my days have been lovingly labeled “Office Days.” These are my opportunity to focus on my project—designing and authoring HEART’s first Kids for School Newsletter. A chunk of the reason that the end of my week was spent in the office was due to Kenya’s constitutional referendum. August 4th was Kenya’s big voting day—yes or no to this constitution that would redefine Kenya and make history. In 2007, Kenya held a huge election which resulted in an incredible outbreak of violence across the country. Thousands were killed. The violence was concentrated in the Rift Valley and Nairobi. In Kibera slum, it was typical to get stopped by a random person and asked to speak in your mother tongue. If from that the person could discern you were from a rival tribe, they would murder you—even burn you alive. One of the staff members at HEART even struggles with the memory of seeing people being burned alive in the streets. It was horrific. As a result, we were advised by the US Embassy to keep a low-profile this year—stay home—better safe than sorry. They expected a peaceful election this year, but no one was interested in taking chances. So we had office days, when we not only worked hard, but prayed hard. Praise the Lord, the election went over very smoothly and very peacefully. And Kenya has a new constitution!
On Monday, I had the opportunity to visit the BulBul WEEP Center with the other interns and the sweetest couple in the world, Ken and Paula. As we listened to their stories, I was amazed at the transformation of these women. They have truly come from death to life. It’s almost hard to believe that at one point their skin was peeling off, their hair was falling out, or they had a CD4 count of 6. (That’s nothing! At that point, you might as well label her dead…seriously.) But God had a radically different plan for these women. When before they woke up and wandered the streets aimlessly, they now wake up with a purpose, with a mission, with meaning. They are mothers to their children, who are in school, because mom now has a job sewing mosquito nets. They are full of life, love, and joy. They are living with HIV. And even after they are kicked out of their own homes, even after they are widowed and left alone, even after laying hopeless on the side of the road for weeks…for years…they have been brought back to life…through treatment with ARVs, through the support and encouragement of Vickie, through the care and love of others, through the income of work, and through the power and grace of God. And, boy, do these women praise Him! Of course, in their generosity while we were there, they fed us a Thanksgiving-sized meal and sent us off with hugs and blessings.
Throughout other days, I have been able to serve at a table in the Westgate Mall (a super fancy mall where all the rich go in Kenya) where we, as a HEART team, spread the word about the Freedom for Girls Project. We expected it to be more of a “hand-out-brochures-and-let-people-know-what-HEART-is-doing-so-they-might-donate-later” type of event, but we ended up raising over 12,000 Kenyan shillings right then and there on that Sunday afternoon! Praise God!
As various guests have visited HEART, I have also had the opportunity to do various PR activities, such as giving tours of the compound, telling stories about HEART, or explaining HEART’s various projects and what exactly we do. It’s been fun! I am starting to feel like staff here. (God willing, maybe soon I will be.)
We also were sure to have fun on Saturday as we visited the Elephant Orphanage and the Giraffe Center. Surprisingly, the Elephant Orphanage was really hard for me—not because of the sad stories of the elephants, but because I was surrounded by a large group of people who had traveled all the way to Kenya…and they were pouring out compassion on the elephants. Don’t get me wrong, I love animals and I think it is important to care for God’s creation. But it got me thinking…how many people there were really going to see Kenya? How many would visit an actual orphanage? Were they here to give…or were they just going to take? Did they come just for safari, apathetic to the deep needs of Kenya? Were they just going to look straight ahead and not look into the eyes of the orphan, the HIV positive woman, the Kenyan who needs to know they are loved by the Creator of the Universe? It hit me hard. I don’t know what they were in Kenya for. Who knows…maybe they were here serving, doing something to help out… All I know is that the whole time…my heart ached.
After I had some time in the car to think, to pray, to process through… I was able to really enjoy my time at the Giraffe Center. I had so much fun delighting in God’s truly creative creation as I fed the giraffe. I even got to kiss one—TWICE! I put the food between my lips and it just swung around and ate it right out of my lips. It was slobbery and disgusting, but totally awesome! I mean…how often do you get to kiss a giraffe?!! It was way cool. I was on cloud nine as I was delighting in this creature made by God. On the way home, we named him Lenard, and I even decided giraffes are one of my new favorite animals. How precious…how awesome for the Lord to let me have that time up-close-and-personal with His handiwork in Africa!
Finally, I was so blessed with the opportunity to return to the Kibera WEEP Center for the first time in about a month. It was even more special seeing the beautiful faces of the women again, and they truly looked even better, even stronger, even prettier, than they did a month previous. Going back, their stories become more real. They are still there…living, sewing, working, laughing, singing, dancing, praising God in Kibera. You would never ever know in a million years they are HIV positive. During this visit, we made home visits. This was an adventure because since we were short on time, we had to split up. It was me, Katie, Margaret, Ken, Paul, and Sofia. Katie was the only one who had done home visits before. So of course, God pushed me out of my comfort zone just a nudge, and sent me to do my first home visit with Marge and Sofie. I loved walking through Kibera. Now I know that is way odd, considering the garbage and sewage lining the streets and overwhelming the air…but I was getting into the real deal, the real life, of these women in Kibera. So we carried bags of groceries from the WEEP Center to Roda’s home. The walk probably took about 10 to 15 minutes, which was filled with the constant call of “How are you? How are you?” So, in response, I would say “Habari?” ("How are you?") or “Sasa?” ("What's up?"), which really got the kids’ attention (She speaks Swahili?!?!). It was fun.
As part of the home visit, we were required to ask a bunch of questions about Roda’s home life, her rent, her children, her health…anything and everything…for HEART to be able to keep an up-to-date file on each woman in the WEEP Center. Roda’s story is an incredible one of recovery. She is probably one of the smartest and strongest women of the WEEP Center. She helps translate into English for the other WEEP women who struggle. She counsels numerous other HIV positive women and serves as a personal mentor to the newest WEEP member, Lillian. Not only does she work at the WEEP Center, but once a week she teaches in a clinic about HIV/AIDS. All three of her daughters are in school, paid by her own money. She even opens her single-roomed home to a 19 year old orphan who stays with her and her three kids. She pays her own monthly bill of 800 Ksh for rent and electricity. There is food on the table, but not only that, but her family is eating a balanced diet. She is healthy, experiencing no side effects from her ARVs. But that is why the next part caught me so off guard…her second born…now 10 years old was raped in the year 2007 during the post-election violence. The hardest part was that when it was mentioned, it was fairly casual…not in the sense that it was not a big deal, but in the sense that it happens all of the time…like it is just a part of life for most, if not all, girls around here. As I looked over at her 10 year old daughter, I wondered…who in the world would want to rape a 7 year old girl? The daughter was smiling and I could not help but wonder…did she cry? What is she thinking now? Does she know she is valuable? It was unreal. It was heart wrenching. And it makes me sick.
As Margaret and I forced ourselves to press on with the questions, we made sure that her daughter had received proper medical care after the event. She did. We continued with questions and concluded our times with photos and prayer. I was so blessed to be able to pray over Roda, her family, and their home. I know that though my words may not have been sufficient, I have a perfect translator—the Holy Spirit. He knows the needs of that household, and He knows me heart. (What a relief!)
Like I said…it’s been a whirlwind. Please be praying for my heart as I am attempted to take this all in. God is showing me so much. Blessing me so much. Stretching me so much.
I keep thinking back to the words that we sang at one of the Revival services at the church around the corner… “And when my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the Rock that is higher than I.”
Several of my days have been lovingly labeled “Office Days.” These are my opportunity to focus on my project—designing and authoring HEART’s first Kids for School Newsletter. A chunk of the reason that the end of my week was spent in the office was due to Kenya’s constitutional referendum. August 4th was Kenya’s big voting day—yes or no to this constitution that would redefine Kenya and make history. In 2007, Kenya held a huge election which resulted in an incredible outbreak of violence across the country. Thousands were killed. The violence was concentrated in the Rift Valley and Nairobi. In Kibera slum, it was typical to get stopped by a random person and asked to speak in your mother tongue. If from that the person could discern you were from a rival tribe, they would murder you—even burn you alive. One of the staff members at HEART even struggles with the memory of seeing people being burned alive in the streets. It was horrific. As a result, we were advised by the US Embassy to keep a low-profile this year—stay home—better safe than sorry. They expected a peaceful election this year, but no one was interested in taking chances. So we had office days, when we not only worked hard, but prayed hard. Praise the Lord, the election went over very smoothly and very peacefully. And Kenya has a new constitution!
On Monday, I had the opportunity to visit the BulBul WEEP Center with the other interns and the sweetest couple in the world, Ken and Paula. As we listened to their stories, I was amazed at the transformation of these women. They have truly come from death to life. It’s almost hard to believe that at one point their skin was peeling off, their hair was falling out, or they had a CD4 count of 6. (That’s nothing! At that point, you might as well label her dead…seriously.) But God had a radically different plan for these women. When before they woke up and wandered the streets aimlessly, they now wake up with a purpose, with a mission, with meaning. They are mothers to their children, who are in school, because mom now has a job sewing mosquito nets. They are full of life, love, and joy. They are living with HIV. And even after they are kicked out of their own homes, even after they are widowed and left alone, even after laying hopeless on the side of the road for weeks…for years…they have been brought back to life…through treatment with ARVs, through the support and encouragement of Vickie, through the care and love of others, through the income of work, and through the power and grace of God. And, boy, do these women praise Him! Of course, in their generosity while we were there, they fed us a Thanksgiving-sized meal and sent us off with hugs and blessings.
Throughout other days, I have been able to serve at a table in the Westgate Mall (a super fancy mall where all the rich go in Kenya) where we, as a HEART team, spread the word about the Freedom for Girls Project. We expected it to be more of a “hand-out-brochures-and-let-people-know-what-HEART-is-doing-so-they-might-donate-later” type of event, but we ended up raising over 12,000 Kenyan shillings right then and there on that Sunday afternoon! Praise God!
As various guests have visited HEART, I have also had the opportunity to do various PR activities, such as giving tours of the compound, telling stories about HEART, or explaining HEART’s various projects and what exactly we do. It’s been fun! I am starting to feel like staff here. (God willing, maybe soon I will be.)
We also were sure to have fun on Saturday as we visited the Elephant Orphanage and the Giraffe Center. Surprisingly, the Elephant Orphanage was really hard for me—not because of the sad stories of the elephants, but because I was surrounded by a large group of people who had traveled all the way to Kenya…and they were pouring out compassion on the elephants. Don’t get me wrong, I love animals and I think it is important to care for God’s creation. But it got me thinking…how many people there were really going to see Kenya? How many would visit an actual orphanage? Were they here to give…or were they just going to take? Did they come just for safari, apathetic to the deep needs of Kenya? Were they just going to look straight ahead and not look into the eyes of the orphan, the HIV positive woman, the Kenyan who needs to know they are loved by the Creator of the Universe? It hit me hard. I don’t know what they were in Kenya for. Who knows…maybe they were here serving, doing something to help out… All I know is that the whole time…my heart ached.
After I had some time in the car to think, to pray, to process through… I was able to really enjoy my time at the Giraffe Center. I had so much fun delighting in God’s truly creative creation as I fed the giraffe. I even got to kiss one—TWICE! I put the food between my lips and it just swung around and ate it right out of my lips. It was slobbery and disgusting, but totally awesome! I mean…how often do you get to kiss a giraffe?!! It was way cool. I was on cloud nine as I was delighting in this creature made by God. On the way home, we named him Lenard, and I even decided giraffes are one of my new favorite animals. How precious…how awesome for the Lord to let me have that time up-close-and-personal with His handiwork in Africa!
Finally, I was so blessed with the opportunity to return to the Kibera WEEP Center for the first time in about a month. It was even more special seeing the beautiful faces of the women again, and they truly looked even better, even stronger, even prettier, than they did a month previous. Going back, their stories become more real. They are still there…living, sewing, working, laughing, singing, dancing, praising God in Kibera. You would never ever know in a million years they are HIV positive. During this visit, we made home visits. This was an adventure because since we were short on time, we had to split up. It was me, Katie, Margaret, Ken, Paul, and Sofia. Katie was the only one who had done home visits before. So of course, God pushed me out of my comfort zone just a nudge, and sent me to do my first home visit with Marge and Sofie. I loved walking through Kibera. Now I know that is way odd, considering the garbage and sewage lining the streets and overwhelming the air…but I was getting into the real deal, the real life, of these women in Kibera. So we carried bags of groceries from the WEEP Center to Roda’s home. The walk probably took about 10 to 15 minutes, which was filled with the constant call of “How are you? How are you?” So, in response, I would say “Habari?” ("How are you?") or “Sasa?” ("What's up?"), which really got the kids’ attention (She speaks Swahili?!?!). It was fun.
As part of the home visit, we were required to ask a bunch of questions about Roda’s home life, her rent, her children, her health…anything and everything…for HEART to be able to keep an up-to-date file on each woman in the WEEP Center. Roda’s story is an incredible one of recovery. She is probably one of the smartest and strongest women of the WEEP Center. She helps translate into English for the other WEEP women who struggle. She counsels numerous other HIV positive women and serves as a personal mentor to the newest WEEP member, Lillian. Not only does she work at the WEEP Center, but once a week she teaches in a clinic about HIV/AIDS. All three of her daughters are in school, paid by her own money. She even opens her single-roomed home to a 19 year old orphan who stays with her and her three kids. She pays her own monthly bill of 800 Ksh for rent and electricity. There is food on the table, but not only that, but her family is eating a balanced diet. She is healthy, experiencing no side effects from her ARVs. But that is why the next part caught me so off guard…her second born…now 10 years old was raped in the year 2007 during the post-election violence. The hardest part was that when it was mentioned, it was fairly casual…not in the sense that it was not a big deal, but in the sense that it happens all of the time…like it is just a part of life for most, if not all, girls around here. As I looked over at her 10 year old daughter, I wondered…who in the world would want to rape a 7 year old girl? The daughter was smiling and I could not help but wonder…did she cry? What is she thinking now? Does she know she is valuable? It was unreal. It was heart wrenching. And it makes me sick.
As Margaret and I forced ourselves to press on with the questions, we made sure that her daughter had received proper medical care after the event. She did. We continued with questions and concluded our times with photos and prayer. I was so blessed to be able to pray over Roda, her family, and their home. I know that though my words may not have been sufficient, I have a perfect translator—the Holy Spirit. He knows the needs of that household, and He knows me heart. (What a relief!)
Like I said…it’s been a whirlwind. Please be praying for my heart as I am attempted to take this all in. God is showing me so much. Blessing me so much. Stretching me so much.
I keep thinking back to the words that we sang at one of the Revival services at the church around the corner… “And when my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the Rock that is higher than I.”
Monday, August 2, 2010
Jehovah Jireh Orphanage
You know what I am going to miss most when it is time for me to return to California? Beauty. The beauty that saturates the hearts of the people. The beauty that flows from their inner being into their eyes. In my time here, I have experienced seeing the people of Kenya with the eyes of God. They are so beautiful! I know their beauty and as I spend my hours with them, I know my beauty. We delight in each other...in the creative ways God made each of us unique. They are beautiful. I am beautiful.
I lack that at home. Some may even argue that I am surrounded by more beautiful people at home. Yet, I see no beauty. I know no beauty. I feel no beauty. But here....here in Kenya...I know beauty. It flows so naturally as the faces of the people here light up when you sing, when you teach, when you dance, when you take photos, when together you praise God.
I hope and pray I can take home this pair of eyes that God has given me. You see things in a whole new light, with a whole new persepctive, with a whole new set of eyes. You see the present...you live, you give, you love in the present...with an eternal perspective. I never want to let that go.
We educated about 25 girls on their monthly cycles, sex, abstinence, rape, relationships, STDs, pregnancy, goals/dreams, and HIV/AIDS. The girls were intelligent and very responsive to what they were being taught! It just....connected. Some of the expressions in the eyes of these girls were surreal. There was hope. There was grace. There was joy. There was beauty.
In addition to everything we talked about we emphasized that it's never too late to wait. We had the girls repeat the phrase: "It's never too late to wait." As we had the girls write down anonymous questions on scraps of paper, questions started to come in such as: What if I have already lost my virginity...can I ever be a virgin again if I choose to wait? Katie handed me the scrap of paper and encouraged me to tackle it. I went about explaining that although physically you may never be a virgin again, spiritually and emotionally you can become a virgin again. With God, there is always grace. Praise God, there is always grace. One of the girls started to clap. I was blown away! YES! CLAP! Now that is something worth clapping about! So together we clapped, praising God for His unending grace. Wow, I am trying to hold back tears as I write this. It was so beautiful. They get it. They get God's grace. Even at their young age. Even in their circumstances. All orphaned, living in this cement building, surrounded by dusty air and flies. There was beauty. There was grace.
By God's grace alone, it was another very successful day with the Freedom for Girls teaching. Even our new guests, Ken and Paula played irreplacable roles. (Keep in mind, they arrived at 1am last night.) Ken voluntarily stepped up to teach the boys, and Paula helped to encourage the girls. Margaret and Sophie played with the kids. It was a day hand-crafted by God, and it is yet another place I poured my heart into and hope to return again.
But for now, I am thrilled to know that 25+ more girls will have a year's supply of sanitary towels, 4 pairs of underwear, knowledge of their monthly cycles, and are excited to wait to have sex until they are married. And I am even more thrilled to know that these girls truly know the grace of God...and they are saturated in His beauty.
I lack that at home. Some may even argue that I am surrounded by more beautiful people at home. Yet, I see no beauty. I know no beauty. I feel no beauty. But here....here in Kenya...I know beauty. It flows so naturally as the faces of the people here light up when you sing, when you teach, when you dance, when you take photos, when together you praise God.
I hope and pray I can take home this pair of eyes that God has given me. You see things in a whole new light, with a whole new persepctive, with a whole new set of eyes. You see the present...you live, you give, you love in the present...with an eternal perspective. I never want to let that go.
We educated about 25 girls on their monthly cycles, sex, abstinence, rape, relationships, STDs, pregnancy, goals/dreams, and HIV/AIDS. The girls were intelligent and very responsive to what they were being taught! It just....connected. Some of the expressions in the eyes of these girls were surreal. There was hope. There was grace. There was joy. There was beauty.
In addition to everything we talked about we emphasized that it's never too late to wait. We had the girls repeat the phrase: "It's never too late to wait." As we had the girls write down anonymous questions on scraps of paper, questions started to come in such as: What if I have already lost my virginity...can I ever be a virgin again if I choose to wait? Katie handed me the scrap of paper and encouraged me to tackle it. I went about explaining that although physically you may never be a virgin again, spiritually and emotionally you can become a virgin again. With God, there is always grace. Praise God, there is always grace. One of the girls started to clap. I was blown away! YES! CLAP! Now that is something worth clapping about! So together we clapped, praising God for His unending grace. Wow, I am trying to hold back tears as I write this. It was so beautiful. They get it. They get God's grace. Even at their young age. Even in their circumstances. All orphaned, living in this cement building, surrounded by dusty air and flies. There was beauty. There was grace.
By God's grace alone, it was another very successful day with the Freedom for Girls teaching. Even our new guests, Ken and Paula played irreplacable roles. (Keep in mind, they arrived at 1am last night.) Ken voluntarily stepped up to teach the boys, and Paula helped to encourage the girls. Margaret and Sophie played with the kids. It was a day hand-crafted by God, and it is yet another place I poured my heart into and hope to return again.
But for now, I am thrilled to know that 25+ more girls will have a year's supply of sanitary towels, 4 pairs of underwear, knowledge of their monthly cycles, and are excited to wait to have sex until they are married. And I am even more thrilled to know that these girls truly know the grace of God...and they are saturated in His beauty.
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