There is something I have been missing since I returned from Kenya three months ago. It did not strike me until I was flying from San Jose back to Irvine.
I wasn't ready to leave. I was comfortable, enjoying my time at home, finally getting to spend time with my parents. I hadn't had a break to spend with family in the home I grew up in for that long in at least a couple of years. Leaving was not easy, but I knew good things were to come of this next quarter. I was looking forward to arriving back at my apartment and settling in before starting another quarter of science classes.
As the plane slowly lowered elevation, I looked out the window to see lights illuminate an otherwise dark city. As I reflected and let my eyes wander, it felt like I was descending in to a galaxy. The millions of lights were millions of stars floating in dark space. Some were gathered together in clusters. Some bright. Some faded. I felt like I had taken a step out of the world to stand back and get just a glimpse of how majestic God created this universe. I was reminded of His sovereignty and His grace to even take note of me.
Now, of course, I was not descending into some galaxy...just Irvine. I knew that. But you see, it had been a while since I let my artsy mind take over to allow me to delight in something so simple, so beautiful. After so many reminders of suffering, pain, poverty, I was afraid to let my heart delight in the simple--to dream.
Just the other day, I was looking through old blogs of my time in Kenya in 2010. Considering my experience this year was quite different, I was intrigued, reading over some of my experiences and dreams last year. Many of the hopes and dreams I had expressed, God answered.
In one of my blogs, I mentioned that if I could only return to one place in Kenya, it would be Lower Taita. Lower Taita was the first place we traveled upcountry. I was reunited with Pastor Joshua and his family, and blessed inexplicably. In another, I mentioned the dream of returning to HEART as staff. This past year I served as part-time mission staff, specifically intern coordinator.
Safe to say, God continues to fulfill his promises.
I am currently reading The Hole in our Gospel by Richard Stearns, President of World Vision U.S. since June 1998. And loving it, I might add. It has brought me to tears, laughter, and I find myself connecting with his experiences and encouraged by his steps of faith. A quote that he noted at the beginning of one of the chapters is by Rick Warren. I have come to love and be consistently encouraged by it: "If God only used perfect people, nothing would get done."
All this to say, I am daily reminded by the ways God has exquisitely blessed me and continues to be faithful to keep his promises, as imperfect, unfaithful, prideful, blind, and stubborn as I may be. And I am excited to dream again...and see where He will take me next...